“Dear Mediocre Day”

Dear mediocre day,

I don’t know what to say to you.

I don’t want to say I wish you better,

Cause mediocre is better than a bad day.

But if mediocrity defines my everyday what life am I living.

A life where excitement is reserved for weekend trips to the beach?

I don’t know if I want that to be my life.

A life where living is reserved for two days out of seven and sometimes less than that.

What kind of life is that?

Work your whole life and then retire and finally get to live.

What if I want to live before I’m 65?!

What if want to ease this restless ache in my heart that never seems to go away.

And every new day I get closer and closer to what I hoped I’d never be!

Complacent.

Complacency placed behind a mask of contentment.

“Content” to live every day just like the last

And spend my weekends just like my father does;

Working.

That’s not a life I want to live.

That’s not the life I’m called to live.

And honestly, I don’t know what life to live.

I’m just so tired of not even living

Just stumbling from day to day in some never-ending search for something more gratifying than living for a weekend.

I want something more than a mediocre life.

Mediocre day please don’t be my every day

Cause I can’t live like that.

I don’t want to wear a mask of contentment to hide the fact that the lights in my eyes have gone out.

I don’t want to have to put up a constant face for fear of people asking me if I’m ok cause I don’t laugh much anymore,

I don’t smile much anymore.

Where is the wonder that was once in my eyes that were blind to complacency?

Where is the heart that once held a fire burning brighter than the world that tried to snuff it out?

How do I find me in the midst of mediocrity?

In the midst of months flying by in the blink of an eye ‘cause there wasn’t a day that stood out among them,

And by the time I look back and realize it’s been 6 months since I last did anything I remember,

It’ll be a year later.

When did time stop being a gift and start being a clock that won’t stop ticking down to a final end,

And I’ll look back on a life not even half lived.

I want to live for more than half my life,

So please mediocre day,

Please don’t be my every day?

- Sincerely, Will